You have heard others say it.
And if you have multiple sclerosis, you have probably said it yourself…
“…I am stiff as a board.”
Spasticity (muscle stiffness) is a major side effect of MS. It is for me anyway.
Throughout my hips, legs & ankles, spasticity makes it difficult to move. That’s why I move slower than the buffet line at Golden Corral.
It’s true. A family member describes me as being “tighter than a duck’s ass under water!”
I’m like a mannequin….with bad breath. I’m not lying…once, while standing still in a department store, someone tried to buy my jacket!
Mister Salty has more flexibility than me!
For me, cutting my toenails can be considered a pilates workout!
I’m stiffer than a starched shirt from a dry cleaner. Oh yeah, I’ve been “stiff”ed more than a late-night waitress at Denny’s.
I’m so stiff I make Queen Elizabeth seem like the star of a “Girls Gone Wild” video!
To do deep knee bends, I need a bungee cord & a car jack. (Don’t worry, I don’t understand that one either!) Really!..card tables have legs that bend easier than mine.
My legs are as stiff as a whiskey-sour from an airport lounge.
That’s why I stretch so often, I feel like The Spinners” song “Rubber Band Man.”
I stretch things out more than a TV soap opera. And still, G.I. Joe has a greater range of movement.
You can relate I’m sure. It’s that feeling when getting dressed is like trying to put socks on a curtain rod.
Very true. I mean, a pole vault bends more than my hammy’s!
Abe, the statue at the Lincoln Memorial, gets out of his chair easier than I.
That’s the reason when I buy “straight-leg” jeans—-I mean it!
So goes our daily MS grind with spasticity.
May these words tighten your belly muscles through laughter!