Morning Rush Hour

Morning Rush Hour

 

It’s a race every morning.

gotta go

A grit-your-teeth, forehead-vein-popping, tendons-in-the-neck-straining, all-out-footrace-to-the-bathroom struggle to make it before it’s too late.

 

Call it the “morning rush,” “bladder patter,” “porcelain jog,” or the “rush to flush,” however you refer to it, making it to the bathroom in the morning for me can be trouble.

If you too have multiple sclerosis, you know exactly what I am talking about!

 

self storage

 

MS has stolen my bladder control and locked it away in a nondescript self-storage unit!

 

 

 

That very first calling in the morning is my most demanding task of the day.

Let me take you through my paces.

 

 

I rise each morning like Frankenstein coming to life in the lab.

Surly as Frankie and moving as stiffly as the Wizard of Oz’s Tin Man (before the oil), this Odd Sock trudges down the upstairs hallway, pausing at the bathroom door.

Occupied.  A family member is already in the shower, forcing me to take my “Kidney’s Overflowith” to the bathroom downstairs.

 

The dreaded stairs.
The dreaded stairs.

 

Turning to my left, my biggest challenge lies before me.

Thirteen stairs.

Yes, thirteen is an unlucky number.

But 13 stairs with a full bladder is REALLY unlucky!

 

 

tire test

 

I have flashbacks to the Goodyear Tire TV commercial where the vehicle drives over a bumpy obstacle test track!

 

 

 

I begin my descent with as much trepidation as the Chilean miner rescue!

Will I make it?  Or, will I need to call for Lysol and a sponge mop?

So far—so good.

Three steps to go.

And…..touchdown.  My feet firmly on the ground floor, I somewhat understand the relief “Sully” felt when he landed that airliner in the Hudson River!

 

But now begins my 20 foot shuffle to the bathroom.

With my cane in my left hand, I am forced to hold myself with my right (Think of that four-year old above who really has to go!).

The closer you get to the bathroom—the stronger the urge.

(That’s one of Newton’s unwritten laws of physics!)

Finally, after what seems like time standing still……I cross the threshold into the bathroom.

 

finish line 2

 

                                                         I feel victorious!! 

 

 

finish line 1

 

I have won!

 

 

My Odd Sock breaking the tape to win the race to the toilet!
My Odd Sock breaking the tape to win the race to the toilet!

 

 

Here is my morning moment of joy!

 

 

 

 

 

Today was a success.  Yesterday is in the past.  And I’ll worry about tomorrow when the time comes.

In the meantime, do you care to share a comment about your morning “commute?”  I know you have one because we’re all in this MS thing together.

Oh by the way, if you happen to see my kidneys—give a honk & a wave.  (They’re the ones speeding in the carpool lane.)

sock 

 

 

6 Replies to “Morning Rush Hour”

  1. I don’t have to worry about the morning commute as I am busy 3 or 4 times in the night shuffling to the bathroom. I am actually thinking of sleeping in the tub.
    Cheers,
    Karen

  2. Since I live in a small ranch style home (ranch as in only 1 story not as in a whole lotta cattle!) I don’t have far to “go” in the morning when I have to “go.” My biggest bladder fears are traffic jams and new stores with poorly marked restroom facilities. I have met both of these challenges and handled them both in a clean and dry fashion and in the opposite fashion! 🙂 It is a damn good thing to be able to laugh at yourself and say “Oh well!”

  3. Lately, I seem to be getting up every hour on the hour, I realize as you get older you tend to shrink. I never thought my bladder would become the size of a grape.

    One solution I have come up with to the bladder patter and waking up the household is keeping a urinal at my bedside. I know it’s disgusting having a container of pee at the side of your bed, but if you get a plastic one like they have at the hospitals with a snap-close cover no harm done. I understand it’s an easy male solution, for the females I sympathize.

    Plastic urinal w/cover – Free is you ask the nurse nicely.

    paper tissue and hand sanitizer – $4.00

    Getting there in time – PRICELESS

  4. For me it’s a good news bad news thing. I am lucky enough to sleep through the night and my first trip to the loo is not too bad. My problem comes about 2 hours later. In addition to my ms I have a heart conditio which requires me to take (among other pills) a diuretic. When the pill has it’s affect on me I have between 3 and 5 seconds to reach the toilet. Sadly there are days I haven’t made it. I guess we all have our challenges.

Making it official.