Driving With Attitude

Driving With Attitude

IMG_1583What is it with other drivers these days?

Courtesy has been thrown out the car window like a used cigarette butt.

Everyone has someplace to be and they needed to get there 10 minutes ago.

 

 

Driving today has become a lawless world reminiscent of Mel Gibson’s “Thunderdome.”

The old slogan of “Drive defensively” has been replaced with the new in-yer-face version……..

“Where THEY gotta go is more important than where YOU gotta go.”

(Wordy yes, but lots of brash self-importance!)

 

 

The finest example of today’s driving perspective can be found in any retail parking lot.

Isn't that Danny Bonaduce?
Isn't that Danny Bonaduce?

 

No lines or speed limits mean they can drive with hellbent abandon.  Not even the parking lots contain these Joie Chitwood stunt drivers as you can now find them rip-roaring through the highways & byways of your local cal-de-sac.

 

 

Remember, “where THEY gotta go is more important than where YOU gotta go.”

  

Hurry, Ashley has dance practice you moron!
Hurry, Ashley has dance practice you moron!

 

Whether the person riding your bumper is “Minivan Mom” or “SUV Blue-Tooth Guy,” how dare you be on the road when they have shit to do (And they always have shit to do).

 

 

They have their Blackberry in one hand and a Mocha Latte in the other while they steer with who knows what appendage!

 

SUV

 

The grill of their vehicle fills the back window of mine like the rear end of a Walmart shopper fills spandex.  So close they follow, you can count the bugs in their radiator.  They are so close their license plate leaves an impression on the back of my head.

How dare they tailgate—don’t they see my Yosemite Sam “Back-off” mudflaps?

And when they go around they give you that despicable look of shame…shaking their head with disapproval & muttering to themselves.

 

I drive with hand controls so I can’t even “compliment” them on their obnoxious driving—reason to use my patent-pending, hands-free “Flip-Stick”……..

The "Flip Stick."
The "Flip Stick."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So no, I haven’t offered a solution to this ongoing problem, I just made light of it.  I’ll present my resolution in another My Odd Sock.  Right now I need to run to the store and then to the Post Office.  If you see me barreling down the road, just remember “where I gotta go is more important than where YOU gotta go.”

sock

 

 

2 Replies to “Driving With Attitude”

  1. So true! And they always think that size matters more. I mean, come on, if we’re merging in from an onramp that is ending in 2 feet, and we’re doing 65 mph (wouldn’t go faster would we?), and we’re as close to the vehicle ahead that has ownership of the lane, then why the hell would they jump on the gas as if in a NASCAR race to cut off the angle or something? By the time we can completely slide into the lane, they still fly up onto the back bumper to show their size as if it matters. Bottom line, we then owned the lane for 100 feet, so it would be their fault if we had to brake and they hit us in the rear…but you’re right, they have something that is so much more important, that it’s worth almost ramming a new butthole into a vehicle that shouldn’t have one! I always try to keep an open mind that most people have great intentions and would never want to hurt someone…but these idiots make it look like those nice people no longer exist.

  2. Having just viewed “I Am Legend,” I have arrived at the awful truth: A virus that was engineered in reverse effect to cure Multiple Sclerosis has instead infected fifty percent of all drivers and rendered them feral, cannibalizing zombies.

    After that revelation, Armageddon too scared to hit the road!

Making it official.