Verbal faux paux. You’ve made them—we all have.
Heck, I’ve put my foot in my mouth so often I have athlete’s tongue!
Today I don’t want to talk about when we put our OWN foot in our mouths, but when others do it to us (those of us with MS in particular).
I’ve written about this subject in the past.
While sitting in my wheelchair, a dear friend said to me, “Well you still look good.”
(Thanks Dr. Feelgood!)
That incident happened last year (jerk) and I harbor no ill will towards (trip him with your cane) my friend. It was just someone (run over his toe) struggling to say something–anything (%$#@&*!) to bridge a gap (why I oughta) in conversation.
But I thought I would share two other experiences I had–one recent and one light-years ago–I think you will enjoy.
The first happened just last week. Yes, My Odd Sock was away enjoying a little R&R. Where we were staying had very thick carpeting on the floor, making the use of a self-propelled wheelchair almost impossible.
Anyway, I am struggling to plow my chair through this lush berber. I could have walked faster if that gives you any indication of my difficulty! My arms & shoulders burned with effort and I was too stubborn to ask for help.
So I pass by a housekeeper in the hallway and he says to me in his Caribbean accent, “Yo mon, what are you doing in that wheelchair? You look so healthy, mon!”
(Pause)
In my mind I was screaming at the guy, “Hey Bob Marley Jr, how ’bout you shove that towel you are folding! Better yet, jump on that cart and ride it like the Jamaican bobsled team down the ten flights of stairs………..mon!”
But in my only response, I breathlessly muttered, “I don’t know.”
My last story happened maybe 10 or 12 years ago. I hadn’t been diagnosed with MS more than a couple of years before.
Co workers would often leave articles about MS on my desk. New possible cures. New treatment options. Nice gestures from concerned friends.
One day I returned to my desk to find another article left anonymously.
It was about Dr. Jack Kevorkian (the assisted suicide doctor). The article spoke about how he had assisted a certain number of people and of that certain number of people a number of them had MS.
That’s all the further I got.
I circular-filed the paper while my mind went through a rolodex of emotions.
I was pissed, miffed, humored, disgusted, upset, sad, astonished, angry, amazed, silent, shocked, crushed………..and hungry (It was almost lunchtime mind you!).
I wasn’t sure if it was supposed to be a joke or what.
And no one ever fessed up to sharing that article with me. I just chalk it up to another stop on the MS Express!
Have you had similar incidents? Tell us about them as we have all shared the unique persepective of “Open mouth. Insert foot.”
May 19th, 2010 at 6:58 am
Oh the rollercoaster of emotions that comments can cause. I also have gone through the article on the desk, article in the mail, article in email. What?…oh…my, Like I haven’t already done all the research in the world on my own to find the truth behind the MonSter on my back!? I think people don’t always see the emotions they can cause, or possibly even how to approach us. Some of these same people do really care, and these things are the only ideas they have because they’re too Chicken$&!t to approach us directly. Man, you’d think we were given an immediate death sentence with how people react. Chalk it all up to just that…but man, I would’ve liked to have had the “Mon” ask me what was up…and would’ve responded with some “Don’t worry, be happy now” to laugh at the look on his face. But, I really think he had no clue what could be wrong…I mean…depending on where you were, they may not see a lot of MS.
Now, how to insert foot into my own mouth when I mix up what should be a simple….WTH….what was I saying?
April 18th, 2010 at 10:40 am
Scott,
That’s a good one!
I understand completely your “delay” in reacting. Sometimes I feel my body is running on Eastern Standard time while my mind is on Mountain time!
We just have to let comments roll off our backs and move on.
Keep plugging away my friend.
Thanks for reading!
April 16th, 2010 at 9:06 am
Obviously it wasn’t a handicapped accessible establishment. I can understand the carpet and how frustrating it can be. But, in no way were you being Lazy. Tired, Fatigued, out of breath…but never Lazy. That’s one of those slap words that people use too often.
April 16th, 2010 at 9:01 am
I know this probably isn’t a big deal but. shortly after starting SSDI my friend said “I wish I got free money to stay home”. I didn’t know what to say, my brain didn’t react quick enough.
April 16th, 2010 at 8:02 am
SpeckledBrain,
Thanks for your wise perspective! I wasn’t really angry at the Jamaican for his comment—I was more frustrated at trying to get my wheelchair through the thick carpet. I was just too lazy, tired and out of breath to stop and explain MS to him. Thanks for allowing this Odd Sock see that point of view!
April 15th, 2010 at 12:47 pm
Oh the rollercoaster of emotions that comments can cause. I also have gone through the article on the desk, article in the mail, article in email. What?…oh…my, Like I haven’t already done all the research in the world on my own to find the truth behind the MonSter on my back!? I think people don’t always see the emotions they can cause, or possibly even how to approach us. Some of these same people do really care, and these things are the only ideas they have because they’re too Chicken$&!t to approach us directly. Man, you’d think we were given an immediate death sentence with how people react. Chalk it all up to just that…but man, I would’ve liked to have had the “Mon” ask me what was up…and would’ve responded with some “Don’t worry, be happy now” to laugh at the look on his face. But, I really think he had no clue what could be wrong…I mean…depending on where you were, they may not see a lot of MS.
Now, how to insert foot into my own mouth when I mix up what should be a simple….WTH….what was I saying?