My Odd Sock

Kids, it’s time to pull the plug on the old abdullah oblongata (your brain, not a terrorist) and let out all those strange thoughts.

That’s right, time once again for “Brain Drain.”

Let’s get this party started…….

Sibling Rivalry

First we had the straight-laced, sedate, button-down image of the original Rice Krispies.

Thenalong comes the wild, off-the-chart Cocoa Krispies.  Woo, all the thrill of a Rice Krispie in a chocolate flavor?  I am so there!  This is gonna be great!

But when you add milk, just the opposite happens.

Cocoa Krispies just sit there in your bowl.  Chillin.  You get an occasional noise or two, but it’s like the Cocoa Krispies are just too cool to “snap, crackle & pop.”

Rice Krispies on the other hand, come to life the instant you add 2 percent.  Rice Krispies are like your obnoxious brother-in-law (without the alcohol & fireworks)!  The redneck of breakfast cereals.

Look closely at the picture.  Cocoa Krispies just lay there like they are bored.  Yawn, when is lunch?  But Rice Krispies explode with an exclamation point behind every SNAP! CRACKLE! POP!

By the way, since when have Cocoa Krispies helped support your immune system?  Hell, who needs penicillin when you have “chocolately, sweetened rice!”

Separated At Birth

You’ve seen this before.  Two unrelated people who look strikingly similar.  At My Odd Sock, the crack research team (me) has uncovered a couple of our own.

First up, ESPN and Monday Night Football announcer, Ron Jaworski…..

Ron Jaworski

And from Comedy Central, comedian Lewis Black……

Lewis Black

Lastly, speaking of Rice Krispies, the dark-haired “Pop”……..

"Pop"

…bears an uncanny resemblance to the daytime TV personality, Dr Oz…..

Dr. Oz

 I swear you give Dr. Oz pointed ears and a hat and he could be one of Santa’s elves!

Stupid Packaging

Leaving one final ring around this brain drain is the rather dumb idea behind this jar of Welch’s Grape Jelly…..

Sure, it seems innocent enough.

But beware of the jelly collecting “grab-bars” on the backside of the bottle!

Jelly "grab-bars"

How am I going to get the jelly from all those nooks, crannies & crevices?

Cripes, I’m wasting half a jar of jelly!

I don’t need “grab-bars” on my jelly jar.  Grab-bars are useful only if you are handling ANY of the items listed below….

Plutonium

Crate of live rattlesnakes

Blasting Caps.

Rocket Fuel.

Prehistoric artifacts.

Donated organs.

Fragile egos.

Nuclear Warheads.

And, urine samples.

Otherwise, just give me a smooth-sided jar that makes it easy for me to get my jelly.  That’s all.

Thanks you for reading My Odd Sock’s “Brain Drain,” a completely useless column pointing out the absurdities of life.  God, let’s hope you devote your time to more worthwhile causes.

Disclaimer:

My Odd Sock is an expert on nothing, just an idiot on everything.