My Odd Sock

As you may know, every ten years the U.S. Government begins the laborious task of counting every citizen in our great country.  From this important data comes information about population trends, living standards and cultural tendency.

A Call To All Citizens.

Not to be outdone, My Odd Sock is conducting its own survey.  This short, personal study will analyze how multiple sclerosis affects your life or someone you love.  The results drawn from this survey will be of absolutely no use to anyone.  We only hope you have fun (and maybe laugh so hard your morning coffee shoots out your nose.

Please begin your 2010 My Odd Sock MS Senseless Survey…….

Question 1-   Which type of multiple sclerosis best describes you?

                                    a)  relapsing remitting

                                    b)  primary progressive

                                    c)  secondary progressive

                                    d)  chronic progressive

                                    e)  chronic relapsing

                                    f)  secondary primary

                                   g)  remitting progressive

                                   h)  I didn’t know there were so damn many types!

                                   i)  I pee my pants and slur words–what kind is that?

Question 2-   What is your preferred mobility aid?

                                     a)  cane or forearm crutches

                                     b)  rollator

                                     c)  wheelchair

                                     d)  piggyback ride

                                     e)  shoes

Question 3-  Was your last exacerbation….

                                   a)  in the last week

                                    b)  in the last month

                                   c)  in the last year

                                   d)  I haven’t exacerbated since I was a teenager

Question 4-  My slow, shuffling gait…..

                                  a)  wears out the soles of my shoes

                                  b)  makes others think I am sneaking up on someone

                                  c)  makes me nervous–especially during hunting season

Question 5-  I would say my MS is……

                              a)  somewhat a pain in the ass

                              b)  definitely a pain in the ass

                              c)  if I had feeling in my ass I would answer the question

Question 6-  Avonex is…….

                               a)  an interferon MS medication

                               b)  an agent used to slow the progression of MS

                               c)  a divorced Avon Lady

Question 7-  Hand controls in my car…….

Foot texting

a)  make driving easier

b)  give me freedom to travel

c)  allow me to safely text with my toes.

Question 8-  Has MS affected your vision?

                                       a)   I have blurred vision

                                       b)  I have doubledouble visionvision

                                       c)  I may have vision probs, but at least I don’t poop my pants

Question 9-  Taking the 9-hole peg test…..

                                      a)  is an important measure of upper extremity function

                                     b)  makes me feel like an idiot

                                     c)  why are so pegs so damn slippery–do they spray’em with Pam or what?

Question 10-  What do you do during an MRI?

                                          a)  I lay still to get the best results

                                           b)  I go to sleep

                                           c) I vandalize the inside of the tube by writing “For a good time, call Dr. _______”

Question 11-  Wearing a cooling vest for my MS……

                                  a)  keeps me comfortable in extreme heat

                                  b)  gives my buddies a place to store their brewski’s

Question 12-  MS support group meetings……

a)  are a great way to meet others with MS

b)  allow me to express my struggles

c)  give me an opportunity to put a whoopie cushion under the group  leader’s chair.

Question 13-  Handicap parking spaces…..

                                 a)  are beneficial to those with disabilities

                                 b)  are close to the entrance

                                 c)  are a great place for others to leave their shopping cart after unloading.

Question 14-  How have MS-related tremors changed your life?

                                  a)  I am more careful in everyday situations

                                  b)  I try to keep my tremors hidden

                                  c)  I work at the Lemonade Shake-Up booth at the fair

Question 15-  Please provide a detailed description of your health, including diagnosis, medications, therapy and other treatments on the line provided below.  Please print neatly.

________________________________________________

(If you need more room, please continue your answer on the 2020 MS Senseless Survey.)

Thank you for your lost time and wasted effort by participating in the 2010 My Odd Sock MS Sensless Survey.

Your answers will be carefully studied and carelessly discarded…as if anyone really cares.      (I just used my first ever “emoticon”—now will someone beat me with a stick!)