W orth reading a second time!
Gigundus! Enormoth! Monstrossal!
It’s the size of my friggin head!
Just look at the picture. No Photoshop enhancement here.
That’s “skull-Dougry” at its finest.
But don’t pity me–feel pity for my poor mother. She gave birth to a “cranial-pod.” No wonder she can hardly walk now. I probably split her open like Moses parting the Red Sea.
Life isn’t easy when you are lugging around a head this size.
As a kid, I remember the morning struggle
1st Grade
trying to pull a shirt on. The shirt would ultimately end up stuck around my “five-head.”
For my 9th birthday, I received a Cincinnati Bengals football helmet. I thought it was the coolest gift–till I tried to put it on. It was like putting my head in a vice. I’m sure I pushed the stress of the polymer-plastic outer shell to its absolute limits.
As an adult, my brainpan continues to make big, first impressions. “Hi, I’m Doug”, I said extending my hand. “I’m Pat”, he said shaking it. His gaze then shifted upwards. “Man, you have a melon-head!” he exclaimed.
Nice to meet you too.
Of course, a receding hairline further enhances my continent-sized dome. When I emerge from the shower, I resemble something from Area 51. Like my hair is being swallowed by a giant snake.
If only great thoughts would spew from a noggin this size. When I get an idea, it sounds like a peanut boucing around in a tin can!
But undaunted, I carry on with the resolve that “one size fits all.”
Yeah right, one size fits all my ass.
February 8th, 2010 at 4:33 pm
Thought provoking. Very thought provoking. Thanks.