It was time to invest in a new cane. My old one was a reliable partner, but it was beat-up and had alot of miles.
The shiny-new 2010 models were out, so I shuffle-dragged myself to the showroom. I just love the new cane smell!
I was looking for a plain, black, non-descript cane. The kind of cane that would allow me to enter a room silently, like a black panther. (OK, who am I kidding—I walk like a black panther with three legs that have fallen asleep!)
The cane store had a huge selection. I was confident I would find just what I was looking for. But upon further investigation, I couldn’t find a black cane—not a white cane—or even one of those old-school silver canes! No, every cane was bright & glittery and resembled a Jackson Pollack painting. A Jerry Garcia acid-induced mind trip. These canes were so loud they made Liberace seem lame.
Then, I saw a sign that explained it all…..
(Bleep) Are you kidding me? (Bleep) “Life shouldn’t be dull and boring and neither should your cane.” (Bleep)
I just want a plain, black cane!
“…zest for life.” What is that about? “Zest” is something I use in the shower! (Bleep Bleep)
Look, my point is this, if you are 80 years old and stroll into the Legion Hall card party with one of these canes—that’s cute. But I’m 46. I shouldn’t be limping with a cane at all. And I don’t want to call attention to myself with my fancy walking stick. I want to blend into the room like a bad piece of wallpaper.
As a matter of fact, if DuPont made a wall paint called “Gimp,” I would smother myself with it—two coats!
The Funny Meter
Oh, go away “Funny Meter.” Everything doesn’t have to be hilarious. Geez, gimme a break.
The Funny Meter
Screw you “Funny Meter.”
Your father was a digital thermometer and your mother was a Richter Scale.
There, are you laughing now?
I can’t speak for everyone with MS, but we just want to blend in as best we can—with a plain, nondescript cane. Not something inspired by the psychedelic 60’s.
Oh yeah, by the way, I found my cane at another store. Happy walking!
Me & my new dancing partner.
October 25th, 2009 at 11:54 pm
I don’t need a cane…yet, but I have a pretty snazzy one in the foyer waiting for me!
October 7th, 2009 at 10:40 am
Glad to see you’re back in business! Keep a stiff upper “foo” as Tom Carnes would say and don’t lose your sense of humor! I love it!
October 4th, 2009 at 8:21 pm
Uncle Doug it’s great that you have your website back up can’t wait for the next post.
October 4th, 2009 at 7:33 pm
Doug, I admire your courage and desire. Stories are great. The jokes are better. We, in NW Ohio, are happy to see “my odd sock” back up and running. Good luck keeping it up.
October 4th, 2009 at 2:00 pm
Hi there,
Thank you! I would now go on this blog every day!
AlexAxe
October 4th, 2009 at 6:52 am
I was worried about not seeing this blog site again. I’m glad you’ve come to your senses.
October 3rd, 2009 at 5:18 pm
I have a lucite cane. It “goes with” everything. Blends in while it does its job. Plus, by being clear and not drawing attention to itself..it can make a surprise apperance as a weapon.
Love Ya!! Tina
October 3rd, 2009 at 5:12 pm
YES…. It’s back…. Amen Brother…
October 3rd, 2009 at 3:57 pm
Oh how I relate. I myself went for the Mercedes canadian crutches (black of course). It’s great to see your post.